Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire

This short story was written for our assignment which asked us to create a story of an event that happened in our home neighborhood. We were to be the main character in this story and therefore I made myself the narrator as well. Much of this story is true, I honestly did not have to embellish or exaggerate too much; it was already a pretty good story on its own. The title is from Jerry Lee Lewis' song and as you will see when you read, it is very fitting. Have fun.


As the sun hid behind the the horizon for the night, there was a hair-raising chill about the air that was rather uncommon for the month of July. It didn’t help that the top floor of the parking garage where we had camped out to watch Red, White, and Boom was acting more as a wind tunnel than a shelter. I wish I had worn something warmer under the jacket that was now placed upon my girlfriend’s shoulders. Her shivers became mine, but I knew that the cold sensation I was feeling was nothing compared to the trouble that would have come from my family had I not shared the jacket. Just in time to distract me from my discomfort, the fireworks began to boom above our heads. This Independence Day, the sky did not wear its traditional explosions of red, white, and blue, but instead I saw Tommy, Tery, and Greg, and I saw Hopewell Court.

Despite Greg’s inability to effectively use words – one of the many burdens placed upon him by his autism- it was simple to see that he was the most eager of everyone in our neighborhood for the firework display that we had all been planning for nearly two months now.

“Aaaayeeeeahhhhhhh” Greg sang and danced as Tommy brought out what seemed to be every roman candle and m80 ever made.
“What do you guys want to start with?” Tommy asked the group.
“We have to start out small and build up to a Grand Finale, you know, like the real shows” I said. I knew it would hardly mimic the grandiose displays we had become accustomed to, but there was an understood protocol to fireworks that we just could not stray from.

Tommy grabbed the roman candle and lit it, almost already on the run as he did so. Fireballs began to shoot up into the sky and we all watched, fascinated. Greg began to dance again, flailing his limbs more powerfully with each colorful ball. Disregarding our warnings, Greg was now on a mission to catch one of the fireballs. We knew that we should not be letting this happen, but who were we to ruin Greg’s fun? There was something almost beautiful about the mess of arms and legs flying every which way and the soundtrack of squeals, giggles, and animated noises that accompanied his dancing. And if it wasn’t beautiful, it definitely was hilarious. A red ball went flying and Greg lunged for it. He missed the fire, but we weren’t lucky enough for him to miss the firework. In the span of 4 seconds we had gone from 1776, celebrating our independence with our forefathers to 1966 in the middle of Vietnam with our actual fathers.

Instinctively I had jumped behind the nearest tree, unaware if I was fleeing from the fireballs raining down upon us or the spine-tingling scream and smell coming from Tery. What was that smell? To this day I can still smell that smell; a smell generally reserved for firefighters, doctors, and those most unfortunate. It was the smell of burning flesh. Man down, Man down! One of the balls had struck Tery in the neck and we all watched, paralyzed by both fear and confusion, as he rolled around in anguish.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Terry could not stop yelling, “Somebody get my mom. Go get my mom, please. Get my mommmmmm. Ahhh,” His screams made me want to run for help, even in the midst of Armageddon, and I may have sat there frozen in awe if it weren't for that smell.

“Hold on, Tery, just stay down,“ I said as I ran for help. What a shame, that may have been the best roman candle we’d ever get to see – that thing wouldn’t go out even now that we wanted it to. This remarkable firework had been lost, hidden and tarnished by excitement and bad luck. That was our last Fourth of July on Hopewell Court. We began celebrating Halloween together instead. Candy and costumes were much safer than fireworks – or so we thought.

7 comments:

  1. The story in a nut shell was about a time when they were kids and they set their own fireworks disoplay off in their neighborhood. it was perfect until one person got hit with a roman candle.
    I personally loved this story; I could identify greatly with this story because we used to do the same thing about two years ago. Until one of our friends got hit with the roman candle in the neck. I thought you had a great descriptive opening paragraph. "As the sun hid behind the the horizon for the night, there was a hair-raising chill about the air that was rather uncommon for the month of July". that was my favorite line in the story what great imagery

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  2. In a nutshell- A memory that you'll always remember. It's that's story that you can tell over and over again and to you it'll always feel like it was yesterday.

    I really enjoyed listening to this story, and there is some great visualization, especially at the beginning. However, it was a little unclear if it was at a park,court, or on top of the garage. Other than that, I like how you lead into the story. The title truely foreshadows the trouble in the story.
    Nice job, my favorite line, "Her shivers became mine, but I knew that the cold sensation I was feeling was nothing compared to the trouble that would have come from my family had I not shared the jacket." I totally know what you were saying there, and I liked the way you said it.

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  3. I think this story in a nutshell is an accident do to kids just trying to have fun. I actually liked the scenic development in this story. It is something that I struggle with but it was very good in this story. My favorite line was "As the sun hid behind the the horizon for the night, there was a hair-raising chill about the air that was rather uncommon for the month of July. It didn’t help that the top floor of the parking garage where we had camped out to watch Red, White, and Boom was acting more as a wind tunnel than a shelter."

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  4. This story is about a group of friends that remember a Fourth of July together. One friend in particular has autism, and the other friends are warmed by his child-like love for the fireworks display. Unfortunately, a tragic accident occurs and mars the happiness of the occasion.
    I think the sense details really stand out. I can watch this story unfolding in my mind. "The mess of arms and legs flying every way was beautiful, or at least humorous," was a wonderful line that captures the innocence and gaiety of the friend being described.

    The descriptions of the present place and the past place that the friends find themselves in is very helpful. The descriptions of the friends themselves intermingles humor with a very tragic situation, and the descriptions are excellent. You feel the tragedy, but most importantly,the nostalgia of the group of friends.

    I would have liked to know more about Greg and Terry. I was a little confused as to who was struck by the fireball. It seemed like Greg was being described, then it went to Terry being injured. I think the story is so great, but it gets a little muddled for me in that part of it.

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  5. Nutshell: This story is about an event in the writers youth which still to this day stirs up all sorts of emotions.

    I really like how the story started, the language flowed very nicely and immediately gave the speaker credibility. The sense details of the particular were unique. Characterization was good, I got a good feel of the narrator's relationship to the characters. This is an example of both good language and characterization...

    "Despite Greg’s inability to effectively use words – one of the many burdens placed upon him by his autism- it was simple to see that he was the most eager of everyone in our neighborhood for the firework display that we had all been planning for nearly two months now."

    The narrator has a significant role in the 'group of friends', if perhaps I could learn more about him?

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  6. This is a "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt" kind of story. You start off by really describing the scene and then turn it into a story about a memory.
    I really liked the details of the setting in your story. It felt like a real fourth of July summer night. The most descriptive was when you talk about the smell. It almost grosses me out, actually. But I really liked the beginning as well. The opening sentence is great!

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  7. Basically this story is about reminiscing on past memories like the one where the main character was with his friends having their own firework show and how that can be fun yet dangerous. I thought that the characterization was good in this story as it seemed like every character got their own recognition. all the characters were developed well and had their entertaining moments. It also seems like you know these people yourself. Good details.

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